Childhood Trauma: From Pain to Purpose

 Introduction 

The relationship between a parent and a child should be of love, however, many children are going through emotional abuse, physical abuse, and dealing with the toxic behaviour of their parents which affects them mentally and leaves a life-long impact on the child.

Understanding Toxic Parents

Toxic parents exhibit toxic behavior towards their children, inflicting lifelong distress. Children exposed to toxic behavior suffer lifelong effects, which can impact their emotional, psychological, and even physical well-being. They emotionally and physically abuse their child. They often ignore & avoid their child. They constantly taunt, nag, and belittle their child. constantly criticizing their child's choices, decisions, and actions. Publically humiliating their child by scolding or embarrassing their child in front of others. When the child haven't done anything, they don't have any reason therefore they'll start flipping back pages. Also showing favoritism to one child over another, creating feelings of jealousy and resentment. Portraying themselves as the victim, Making their child feel responsible for their parent's emotions or well-being. Threatening to withdraw love or support if their child doesn't comply. Attributing their own negative qualities or behaviors to their child. Making their child feel like they're not important or worthy of attention. Expecting their child to be constantly available or responsive to their parent's needs.

Lasting Impact on Children

The devastating effects of toxic parental behavior can be profound and long-lasting, planting seeds of fear, self-doubt, and anxiety deep within a child's psyche. As a result, children who are deprived of basic love and affection within their own homes often seek it elsewhere. Constant exposure to negative comments, criticism, and belittling can crush a child's self-esteem and confidence, leaving them feeling unloved, unworthy, and unimportant. Yet, ironically, these children often have a deep well of love to give.

Signs You Have Toxic Parents 

• Your parents constantly criticize you and your choices
• Act toxic towards you, then resume normal behavior minutes later, expecting you to do the same.
• They make you feel like you're never good enough.
• They focus on your flaws and mistakes, rather than your strengths and successes.
• They dismiss or minimize your feelings, making you feel unheard, invalidated, or unimportant 
• They make you feel like you're crazy or overreacting.
• They make you feel like you're not worthy of respect.
• They have explosive outbursts or violent behavior
• Your parents have unpredictable mood swings, making you feel like you're walking on eggshells.
• They physically harm you when angry by hitting, slapping, throwing objects, or using physical force.
• They make you feel like you're not safe or protected.

Healing And Recovery

Recognize your parents behavior patterns and learn to deal with them accordingly by  staying unhurt, not responding back and avoiding energy exchange. 

I, too, have walked this path. As a young teenager, I believed that my parents behavior was intended to strengthen me, to prepare me for the challenges of life. But as I grew older, I came to a painful realization: their behavior was toxic, and it was slowly destroying me, emotionally and physically. The abuse has escalated over time, inflicting scars that continue to affect me profoundly to this day, leaving an indelible mark on my life.

Despite the difficulties, I've learned to reframe these experiences as opportunities for growth. Whenever they exhibit toxic behavior, I choose to rise above it, leveraging these moments to become stronger and more resilient. I encourage you to adopt a similar mindset, transforming your struggles into catalysts for personal development. Parent yourself with love, care, and compassion. Give yourself the nurturing you didn't receive, and stand up for your own needs and feelings. Furthermore, if you're financially independent, consider creating physical distance by moving away, which can greatly improve your mental peace and overall well-being.

Sending You All Lots OF Love And Strength! 💞